a dome in THe desert
There’s something sacred about the High Desert of Southern California.
Photo by Alissa Garcia.
For many it’s a place of renewal; it’s a respite from the city and a moment of solitude under a canopy of stars. For Indigenous people, it’s home, a place powered by hot springs, roaming tortoises, and fragrant creosote shrubs that blossom only when it rains.
For us, Joshua Tree and the surrounding areas are part of our own origin story. Early in our relationship, we journeyed to the desert for an art festival, and we’ve been going ever since.
And the Integratron is at the center of it all.
Check out photographer Alissa Garcia's Integratron elopement photos here.
The domed structure rises like a sun-bleached observatory backdropped by the desert’s deep blue sky, but inside, the warm tones of arched wood and radiant skylights create a sense of awe. And the Integratron itself is like a lens for sound, the dome focuses and amplifies sound in a way that hits you right in the heart. (Read all about the Integratron’s wild history, which involves a scientist, the earth’s magnetic fields, and, yes, aliens.)
So we thought: What better place to amplify our love than a mystical dome in the desert?
Donate to meaningful non-profits or our family travel fund at our registry.
At a ceremony helmed by Sophia’s close friends Merril Lavezzo and Matt Read (and their 1-year-old daughter Margaret), we held ceramics by Sophia’s mother Mary; listened to music composed by Drew’s brother Doug; carried mementos passed down the Tewksbury line; and experienced Tanya Aguiñiga and Todd Beattie’s participatory art piece and poem composed by 36 members of our family and friends.
Later that day, at Los Angeles assemblage artist Noah Purifoy’s Outdoor Sculpture garden nearby, Tanya and Todd completed our union with a blessing and an offering to the desert, where we planted two baby Joshua trees to give back to the land that has given us so much.
Experience a moment of our Noah Purifoy ceremony.
While we missed having a big wedding that everyone could experience, our day in the desert was deeply personal and profoundly powerful. While no photo can reflect the specialness of that moment, below we’ve shared a reflection on the poetry, art, music, and community creativity that flowed through our ceremony officiated by Matt Read. Enjoy.
The Big Day
Drew’s brother, Doug Tewksbury, wrote a song that opened up the ceremony.
His solo piano piece — which you can listen to above — warmed the space as we entered the dome.
Doug offered the song days before the wedding and in a late night email he wrote:
“Tonight, I wrote you both a song for your wedding. It made me really happy to think that our family will have a presence there, even if we can't be there in person. I wrote this this evening, thinking about the both of you. And also, it's a song that's written and mixed to sound nice in the amazing acoustics of the Integratron.
This song is about you, and it's a gift: It's yours, the both of you.”
Photo by Alissa Garcia.
The Meditation
“Breathing in, I calm body and mind,
Breathing out, I smile.
Dwelling in the present moment,
I know this is a wonderful moment.”
-Matt Read began the ceremony with a meditation by Vietnamese monk and peace activist Thich Nhat Hahn
Paying Respects
Tanya Aguiñiga paid tribute to the people who called the California deserts home:
“We acknowledge that the land which we currently occupy is the ancestral home and unceded territory of the Serrano, Cahuilla, Chemehuevi, and Mojave People.
In honoring the past, present, and future generations of Serrano, Cahuilla, Chemehuevi and Mojave People who have stewarded this land for thousands of years, we also acknowledge the ongoing legacies of settler colonialism. We invite you to pause to consider the histories that have brought each of us to this place today, as we seek to build mutual respect and connection across barriers of heritage and difference.”
Tying the Knot
Photo by Alissa Garcia.
Todd Beattie read a piece about the universal philosophies of Athanasius Kircher.
We like to imagine Kircher, 17th century Jesuit German scholar, is related to Sophia.
Kircher’s polymathic mind and philosophies are featured in “The World is Bound With Secret Knots,” an exhibition at the Museum of Jurassic Technology, a wondrous world hidden in a strip mall where we once attended a mysterious winter solstice gathering.
“All of nature in its awful vastness and incomprehensible complexity is in the end interrelated — worlds within worlds within worlds: the seen and the unseen — the physical and the immaterial are all connected — each exerting influence on the next — bound, as it were, by chains of analogy — magnetic chains.
Every decision, every action mirrors, ripples, reflects and echoes throughout the whole of creation.
The world is indeed bound with secret knots.”
THe COMMUNITY QUIPU
our friends and family across the world helped us “tie the knot.”
Due to pandemic restrictions, we were only able to have six people inside the Integratron, so Tanya reached out with an assignment to include some of our community who couldn’t be with us.
Together, we could tie a quipu, an ancient device of knots that the Incans used to record historical events.
Photo by Alissa Garcia.
"I am making a circular ‘quipu’ to surround them with during the ceremony, imbued with our love and intentions,” she wrote.
“Please send:
1) A casual picture of yourself as you are today
2) A one word wish you have for them
3) A picture of a symbolic knot you have tied using two strings-- the shape/structure/look of this knot should correspond to the wish you have for them (the word you chose in #2 should inspire the knot you tie).
I will be replicating all our knots, tying them together and placing it around them during the ceremony. Your one-word wishes will be turned into a poem I will recite as I surround them with our love.”
Tanya and Todd retied the knots into a circle that radiated with each of the knots. We stood inside of it during the ceremony, and felt the energy of our community around us.
The Poem
Tanya reassembled the submitted words into a poem, which she read at the ceremony.
CHRYSALIS INTERWOVEN.
BUTTRESS BLISS,
TOGETHER EVOLUTION
SUPPORT.
PATIENCE LEARNING
KINDRED MAGIC
PATIENCE.
STRENGTH,
ETERNITY JOY,
JOURNEY FULFILLMENT.
RESPECT HEART,
EASE PERSERVEREANCE
SEX COLLABORATION
SATISFACTION TOGETHERNESS
LAUGHTER GASTRONOMY.
KINDNESS,
COMPASSION.
ADVENTURE
ADVENTURE
ADVENTURE
ADVENTURE
ADVENTURE
JOY.
The SonG
Throughout our relationship we’ve listened to many songs, but one is especially meaningful to us: Radiohead’s “I Promise.” We played it right after our vows and slow-danced (and maybe you did too!). Click our kiss above to listen.
Todd and Tanya. Photo by Alissa Garcia.
“I Promise” by Radiohead, Lyrics by Thom Yorke
“I won't run away no more, I promise
Even when I get bored, I promise
Even when you lock me out, I promise
I say my prayers every night, I promise
I don't wish that I'm spread, I promise
The tantrums and the chilling chats, I promise
Even when the ship is wrecked, I promise
Tie me to the rotten deck, I promise
I won't run away no more, I promise
Even when I get bored, I promise
Even when the ship is wrecked, I promise
Tie me to the rotten deck, I promise
I won't run away no more, I promise”
Transcontinental Dance
At the moment the couples slow-danced, our far-flung community joined in too.
At 12:30 PST, the exact moment we danced under the dome, we encouraged friends and family to raise a glass to love, and maybe slow-dance a little too, wherever in the universe they may be. As we got texts and messages of folks dancing and listening everywhere from the Hollywood Hills to Peterbourogh, New Hampshire (pop. 6,284), we realized that one drop of love could ripple outward — and we felt currents of love reflected back to us.
The Sound Bath
The Integratron is known for its otherworldly acoustics that resonate throughout the dome; the building is a musical instrument. For the soundbath after our ceremony, one of the stewards of the Integratron used quartz bowls to create waves of sound that emanated from the wood floor below and the rafters above.
The Purifoy Ceremony
In the last years of his life, Los Angeles assemblage artist Noah Purifoy moved to the California High Desert and began making hundreds of sculptures on his property. The sculptures were made from discarded items, including some pieces that were salvaged from burned buildings from the 1992 uprising in South Los Angeles. His outdoor sculpture garden was one of Sophia and Drew’s early excursions, and with the help of Tanya and Todd, they continued their union by planting two Joshua trees and adding chamomile, copal, and other herbs to the Earth to represent their growth together.
Later that evening…
We ate steaks and got properly drunk at a Palm Springs tiki bar.
(Photos not included.)
